Hardcore Zen.

As most of you know, matching bed linens are an integral part of my existence. Of any existence. I will ruin this house with my anger.

Years ago, I attempted to purchase a starving Appalachian-American child from an infomercial I had seen at 3 AM. It never came. In a related story, no one has RSVP'd to my baby shower for my in transit box of Shamwows.

Where's that thing I made better? Oh. Right.