Conspiracy!

antacid - A substance, such as magnesia or sodium bicarbonate, that neutralizes acid.

ant acid - A poisonous, often projectile secretion of an ant which causes muscular convulsions and eventually slow, painful death via asphyxia.

Either way, no more tummy aches. Win/win.

Celebrity Gossip!

Charlie Sheen is like the industrious ant, squirreling away picnic crumbs, delicate drops of morning dew, and whores all summer long, whilst you lazy grasshoppers languish in your hammocks, sip hard lemonade, and fail to appear in underpants commercials with America's sweetheart, Michael Jordan.

So I made this...

CafePress that shit, somebody with more time than I.
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